|Posted by thedance123 on September 16, 2012 at 2:20 PM||comments (48)|
Good morning everyone.
Today I have decided to share a little bit about myself.
For years I stayed in the closet because I was so afraid of what people would think.
I use the excuse, I am a private person. Or I don't like people in my business.
I lived my life as if I just wasn't dating at the time keeping my lover or lovers a secret.
Truth is most of the time people around us really know whats going on despite our "Denial"!
Then one day I woke up and realize all of the people I was hiding from were not hiding or changing there lives for me so why should I do it for them.
It was time to be free and not care what they thought about me loving someone of the same sex.
After all love is the best gift anyone could ever give or receive.
So here I am world my name is Kristy Cato and not only love girls, but i wrote a love story about two females that everyone loves so much! It's called "The Dance My First Love" and I am very proud...
|Posted by thedance123 on August 31, 2012 at 7:25 PM||comments (5)|
"Omg i have such a crush on you, and i dont know what to do.
Everytime i see you i feel like a little girl.
What is it about you , that makes me feel this way , i dont know.
I would like to just be where ever you are .
I dont care if your just out getting coffee i want to make it for you!
Your smile, your voice , and I love NYC girls so listening to you talk , is such a turn on!
Sometimes i just want to grab your hand and hold it , but dare I?
You make me feel so shy that i cant even ask you out , no matter how many people tell me you like me!
"This has never happen to me before, WOW!
HAS ANYONE EVER FELT THIS WAY AND IF YOU HAVE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT TO DO?
THE BIG CRUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|Posted by thedance123 on August 31, 2012 at 6:35 PM||comments (2)|
Let me KILL your questions... This is for the nights i wanted to leave, but didnt. This is for you, because you were the one who made me strong with every cruel intention you had and i thank you for that. See i forgive you, but i cant give you another chance cause youre in my rearview. you didnt want to believe me, but i always told you that youd live to regret it. And im not trying to make you feel bad, but youll never forget it. Ill always be the best you ever had i believe that who we are is who we choose to be. Nobody is going to save you, you’ve got to save yourself. Nobody is going to give you everything. You have to go out there and fight for it. Nobody knows what you want except you. Most of all, nobody will be as sorry as you if you don’t go out there and get what you want. I dont care who you think you are, ill still think im better. I dont care where you shop, what you drive, or what bar you were poppin bottles at last night. It doesnt impress me. What does impress me is a women thats intelligent. Someone thats comfortable enough with herself to be with one woman. Im done with the liars and these fake ass little girls. I need a boss to hold me down. You shouldve realized what i was worth before i realized you werent worth it. I dont need another mom, i can take care of myself. Im capable, and most importantly, im free in all the ways you are not. I just want to be happy, and spend time with my friends before time runs out. forgive when necessary; but never forget. that shits stuck on your reputation bitch. I cant wait to have my own family, and start that part of my life. I have the most amazing family i could ask for, and they support me no matter what. Sometimes its hard for me to tell the good girls from the bad. Sinners can surprise you, and the same is true for saints. No one wants to admit that compassion and cruelty can live side by side in one heart, and that anyone is capable of anything. i try to not get involved in other peoples business unless it involves me. If you don’t want to deal with me, don’t make yourself a part of my life. Leave my name out of your conversations and out of your mind, otherwise, I am involved and I am going to finish whatever it is you started. I don’t have the time nor the motivation to care about someone else in a mallicious manner, but if you involve yourself in my life, I’ll make the time.
|Posted by thedance123 on August 31, 2012 at 6:35 PM||comments (1)|
THE N WORD!
Ok someone recently left a comment on my page using the N WORD!
Not cool! When will we stop this people? Some people think it’s ok because they have black friends, but it’s not!
People, there is a lot of pain behind that word and if you don’t know that then I am here to tell you.
Imagine being a little girl standing in line to play a game at school.
You get to the front of the line and they say you can’t play because you’re a N,,,,,
Every day you are hoping the next day you will get to play and will no longer be the N.......
You hear this word all your life and hoping it will go away one day!
People think its ok now in 2012 to use that word as a term of endearment, but it’s not!
Last year I was on the phone with someone and heard her friend in the back ground yelling the N word over and over again at someone who pissed her off!
To hear this I now know this person could not or was not ever my friend!
I could go on and tell you more and more about my life and how the “N WORD” hurt me so many times, but if you don’t get it by now then you never will!
Please people let’s get rid of the N WORD !
|Posted by thedance123 on August 30, 2012 at 1:35 PM||comments (2)|
It’s been 15 years why can’t I get over you? I have been threw girlfriends, jobs and have moved to other states. So why does my heart to yearn for you. Does the heart really know what it wants? Or is this a need for the heart and it will continue to hurt unless I find my way back to you? If that’s the case then I am in trouble because you’re married and have kids and I am sure you haven’t thought about me in years. Remember when we first fell in love and promised to love each other forever?
We looked into each other eye’s and didn’t want nor need anyone else in our lives. We didn’t want to be anywhere the other one wasn’t. It was going to be you and me against the world. It’s was great. You were my heart and soul. We had no money. No new house or no new car, but we had each other and I was the happiest I have ever been in my life. Why do I still love you after all of these years? Sometimes I cry myself to sleep because I miss you so much. I ask god to help me forget you and move on after all of this time. I don’t understand why I still feel you in my blood. Is it really better to have love and lost then to not have loved at all? People told me over time I would get over you, but that time doesn’t seem to be anywhere insight.
Why do I still love you and miss you?
|Posted by thedance123 on July 20, 2012 at 11:45 PM||comments (3)|
Who is Kristy Cato?
I am the little girl growing up who was told by her mother do not cry because you look just like your ugly father.
I was that little girl who was told I had to pay my dues in life to get what I wanted by my father, while my siblings were handed what they wanted. I am also what you would call the forgotten one. Meaning no matter where I went from work, a local store, friends and family I was forgotten about. I know there are a lot of people out there who have been through this and I would love to hear from you. Physical, Emotional, or metal Abuse it all hurts and affects our lives. I know there are lots of us out there with their own stories and I would love to hear them so write me and tell me what’s on your mind, we all share common ground.
You see, when I was growing up, there was nothing out there to tell me that it was ok to love who I loved. And because of it I had no fight in me to stand up for what I was feeling at the time. In the end I lost the love of my life and hope this never happens to anyone else. Three years ago I lost my job as a coordinator on a TV show due to the recession. Every day after that, I would get on my computer and look for a job. Frustrated with no luck, one morning instead of my routine of looking for a job, I sat down and began to write a story, which turned into a book called “The Dance My First Love” This book has been getting great reviews and people seem to love this and can identify with the story. I am hoping that more of you will love this story as much as I loved writing it. I loved my characters so much that once I finish that story I began to miss my characters. That’s where my second book comes in “After the Dance” Due to come out sometime next year. This had been a great thing for me and I also understand, for those who have read it too! The great thing is two years later I have written an eight book series.
To everyone who has been through anything. My books are dedicated to you and yours. Keep your head up remember you have done nothing wrong! LOVE IS LOVE
At Los Angeles Times.
|Posted by thedance123 on June 6, 2012 at 12:50 PM||comments (5)|
The Dance My First Love
No on prop 8
On my own……………………………………………………..1
A New World…………………………………………………………..5
Wow: What Are These Feelings…………………………………………………………7
The Plans We Made………………………………………………………….25
The College Years……………………………………………………………29
Something Just Doesn’t Feel Right…………………………………………………………33
New Friends Aren’t Always Good Friends……………………………………………….45
She’s back And Things Aren’t Always As They Seem.61
Whoever Said You Can Go Home Again Lied……………………………………………70
I Will Never Be The Same…………………………………………………………77
The Dance Is Over………………………………………………………….84
I Never Knew It Could Be Like This While I am Missing You……………………………………………………………………………….100
Under The Same Roof………………………………………………………………113
A Familiar Town But Things Are Not The Same…………………………………………………………….131
Goodbye My Love…………………………………………………………………………………..156
On My Own
Imagine being 6 years old standing on a stage looking out towards a room full of parents gathered to celebrate the first of what will likely be just one of many achievements, a child’s first graduation. Kindergarten in California is an exciting time; not just for kids who get to wear white robes and receive little awards to signify their moving on to the first grade, but also for parents who bring flowers as they arrive and some with neatly wrapped boxes as gifts, of celebration in honor of this special day. It can also be a sad day, especially for one little girl who woke up on this special day knowing that before she leaving for school. Her mother wasn’t home nor was she anywhere to be found. That was me, Carrie. Looking back now, I wonder how I was able to get myself up, make myself a bowl of cereal, take a shower, brush my sandy brown shoulder-length hair and head off to school to my graduation. I was young and very use to taking to taking care of myself. My mother was either drunk or hardly around ever around. As with most young girls, I was a sweet girl who needed to be loved and continually looked for it from my mother, but couldn’t seem to ever get it. It became easy to become a quiet and reserved young girl, because I didn’t have much interaction with other kids. I was petite, I had the prettiest walnut brown eyes as I was often told and always kept a smile on my face. I can recall hanging onto hope inside that one day my own mother would see this in me, and that one day she would love me. I did well in school, kept my room clean and stay out of her way, as a way of trying to make her happy. I love my mother and this was the only way I knew how to show her that. Most importantly, I wanted to spend time with her. I recall getting to school that day where tables were being set up in the room for everyone attending. On top of each table were names of the kids’ parents. All of us kids were asked to stand in line and give our family’s names and the number of chairs we would need for our family members. My teacher notice that I was not in line. When she finishes with all the other kids, she walked over to me and said that I need to give her my family count and their names so my table could be set up. I looked up at my blonde headed teacher whose shoes were slightly worn and whose dress I remember having static cling at the bottom; she stood only about 5ft2” tall. I said, “My mom is my only family member and she can’t make it.” She was kind to me and said, “Well then, you can sit with the teachers until it’s time to go on stage.” I felt nervous, but I said, “Okay, thank you.” While all the teachers gave their speeches and served us punch and cookies. I looked around the room at all the kids having a good time with their families, and wishing it was me. After graduation was over, I walked home. I was a latch key kid, so when I’d get home, I would let myself in.
I arrived home to find that my mom still wasn’t home. I don’t even think she came home the night before. She did that a lot, which meant most of the time I was on my own. I sat down to watch TV, hoping my mom would be home soon to make some dinner, but by 8pm when she still wasn’t home, I decided to make myself a peanut butter sandwich. I had to scrape the mold off of the bread because mom hadn’t gone food shopping in a while. There was nothing to eat really other then cereal, a jar with barely any peanut butter left in it, and a little bit of milk which I was saving for my cereal in the morning. Growing up I didn’t really have a bedtime because mom was hardly ever home. When she was home she would just send me to bed when one of her boyfriends was with her, or when she just didn’t want to be bothered with me. Although my mom would go through boyfriend what seem like every month, they were always the center of her attention. That night, I fell asleep watching TV. It was around 130am when my mom came home drunk yelling at me to turn the TV off and go to bed. Sometimes I stayed in the living room with the TV on because I was afraid to be in the house by myself, which happen often. The next morning mom was home. I tried to show her my graduation certificate, but she barley glanced at it before putting it down on the table. There was no, "I am proud of you" and no, "I am sorry I couldn’t make it.” Later on that day, I found my graduation certificate under a glass with water rings on it, as if she had been using it for a coaster. I took it, wiped it dry and put it away. My mom was a big drinker, this made her look a lot older then she actually was. I didn’t know how old my mother was at that time, but I remember her looking really old to me. She could be pretty scary at times, with her dark black hair and bags under what, I assumed use to be her pretty blue eyes. She usually looked so warn out and beaten up, scary like I said which for a little girl is not what you want to see. I spent plenty of time playing in my room by myself and did lots of reading, because I wasn’t allowed to have friends over. I wish so badly that I had a brother or sister. I felt really lonely playing on my own all of the time. By the time I was 8, it became clear to me that my mother hated me, yet I didn’t know why. I remember her saying mean things to condemn me and she would put me down all of the time. She told me I was a waste of time and space. I just tried to stay out of her way. I knew to never ask for anything because she always said she didn’t have any money. When I was 10, one of the girls in my class passed out invitations to her 11th birthday party. I couldn’t believe I was invited to my first birthday party. I had never been to one, let alone have one of my own. I was so excited when I got home! I showed my mother the invitation and asked if I could go. She said. “Sure.” I remember running to my bedroom to find my best dress, though I knew I didn’t have many. The dress I picked out was a pretty pink one which was bought at the thrift shop. Like all the rest of my clothes. I asked my mom if we could go out and buy a present. She said, “If you have to bring something to the party, then you can’t go.” I told her I didn’t have to bring anything, just so I could go. I knew I wanted to bring something, so instead of buying a gift; I got some paper and a handful of markers and made what I thought was a really pretty card. I was so proud of it I couldn’t wait until Saturday! By Friday, I double check with my mom to make sure she was still going to take me to the party; she assured me that she was. Although the party wasn’t until 3pm, I woke up really early with excitement about going Saturday morning. I went into the kitchen to make myself a bowl of cereal and notice mom was not home. I ate; I watched cartoons and waited for time to pass, hoping for my mother to come home. Around 130pm I got tired of waiting, so I decided I would get dress for the party. I grabbed my card off my dresser and sat on the couch, waiting patiently for my mother to come home. At 230pm I started to get nervous. I had an ill feeling and somehow knew she wasn’t coming home. Needless to say, I woke up on the couch later that night around 930pm. I got up off the couch, went into my room, took my dress off and got in bed and cried myself to sleep. I was no longer afraid to sleep in the house alone from that night on, because I realized no one would ever hurt me as much as my mom did. After that night, I never asked her for anything ever again……
|Posted by thedance123 on June 6, 2012 at 11:00 AM||comments (2)|
“OMG WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?”
Ok so for the last year I have been trying to get people to read my book.
What amazes me! Is the fact that I promote my book every day. I post it on my page and others pages who allow me to. I make video’s; on YouTube about my book. My book gets great reviews on websites like Amazo...n.com and others and I am launching a website for my books today. I ve discussed it with people when they ask what’s your book about? But here’s the kicker, people say to me yeah I’ll check it out and then wait a few weeks or a month before ordering it and then that’s when I get the
“OMG WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME THIS BOOK IS SO GOOD” People began to yell at me as if I was keeping this book a secret. They tell their friends like it’s the latest thing to get in life, it funny; because they get all emotional about the book. I love the passion they have for the story and how everyone straight, gay, or transgender can relate to the story line. I am also working on getting the next book out which people are dying for. And I do understand why people want the next book now, because of the way I left that first book. So give me some time and I will get it out!
So here it is folks; one again I am telling you to check out my book.
“The Dance My First Love” Written for you! By Kristy Cato.
I promise you that you will not regret it!
Kristy CatoSee More
|Posted by thedance123 on June 3, 2012 at 1:55 PM||comments (2)|
Its morning and I am very unhappy with what is going on in the world.
I am thinking why is everyone so angry that we love?
I think of all the people who stand out and condemn two men who love, two women who love. Hate is what they preach. I see them on the news with their signs yelling names and sometime throwing things or hitting people. Or seeing states like Florida that won’t allow two men or two women to adopted babies and take them home and give the all the love and attention that they need. Yet there is no one standing outside the house of the people who beat their kids or people having babies and not taking care of them. Last week I was very angry when I saw this young man (If you will) who had fathered over thirty babies and was asking for a break from the courts on the child support. Why is this ok, but not ok for two men or two women to give love and take care of their own? Who put these people in charge of judging? We all know that the bible thumpers pick what they think are sins then go out and preach what they want. Is it that, there so bored with their own lives that they have to try and run other people lives? Isn’t this what people do when they have nothing else going on in their lives? Shouldn’t these people be spending time with their family and loves ones teaching them and showing them love instead of hate? Why would someone put so much anger inside of themselves and the people they so call love? WHY, WHY, WHY, is what this world has me asking again as if I am 4 years old wondering what it all means? Maybe it’s just me, but why wouldn’t you want to see someone that you care about happy no matter who there with? I couldn’t even began to imagine a heaven where god say’s “You did really good hating those people because of who they love! Great job throwing rocks at them and hurting them! I am so proud of you for bringing people from the land I put them on and making salves out of them then after their done building your land throw them out and tell them they don’t belong here! And you Hitler you did great burning alive, along with beating and shooting men, women and children. Wow yeah I love how you destroyed my creations. Like I said I just can’t imagine god being proud of any of it along with a lot more.
Well I guess you get the picture on why I am not so happy with what’s going on in the world.
Thank you for listening. I say listening instead or reading because, I am hoping you hear what I am saying.
|Posted by thedance123 on June 3, 2012 at 1:55 PM||comments (1)|
SOMETIMES IN LIFE WE THINK WE HAVE THINGS ALL FIGURED OUT, BUT THEN LIFE THROWS YOU THAT UNEXPECTED CURVE.
That curve can be good or bad. If it’s good then we don’t question it.
There is not a word to complain about only thanks to give.
But if it’s bad, we tend to look for someone to blame. We cry and sometimes yell “Why does this keep happening to me?”
For me when things are good I thank god for the help and the good people he sends to me ,weather there here with me in person or a friend online who just made my day with a kind word or words.
When it’s bad, I know now, that I need to learn from it and hope that I do because, I found in life if you don’t learn from your mistakes, you are doomed to repeat them which leads you back to what I was saying before “Why does this keeping happening to me?”
I also understand that sometimes “Shit just happens”
I dedicate this short blog to those of you going threw a good time or a bad time.
Whether it’s, financial, love, heartbreak or some sort of loss in life.
Whether you’re, straight or gay, transgender or undecided. Man or women. You should know that every day you are in my prayers.
My heart goes out to the happy and sad, The crowded and lonely people out there.